I have a confession to make. Yesterday I learned a great lesson about my self and my body. As I look in the rear view mirror I see I haven't been focused enough these last few days. I havn't really noticed myself, still I can feel it inside looking back. I lost my drive and I let my surrondings take control of me. This was a big mistake, yet ending up as I did was a valuable lesson and the incident have perhaps made me even stronger and more convinced in what I am doing and for what reason. So if you haven't already figured it out; I had two sandwiches with magarine yesterday (for sure you figured out I had sandwiches with margarine, probably even the brands ;) ).
Lets begin where it all began, 9.30 am. Coffee break (which I usually skip). The cafeteria was close (is still for four weeks) so my colleagues (those not on vacation) bought bread and toppings. They made coffee and made our conferance room cozy (not really) and they even bought me a couple of bananas. So far so good, yet I usually skip this "meal" for two reasons. First, I'm most often not hungry at this time of the day, and if I am I usually have a good drink of water which will last me until noon. Second, I haven't dealt with my issues regarding my weakness for bread (texture mostly), yet I thougt it'll be ok for I haven't had any craving for anything except raw food for the last two, three weeks. At first everything went on fine, then suddenly, from a clear blue sky, lightning struck me and I got this urge for bread. I was obvisously not ready and totally out of focus. I didn't have any then thou. But I just couldn't let go of those thoughts of biting into a nice slice of bread. By 5 pm I did, twice. I had two slices of white bread with magarine, felt fine and went home. Had 1 litre of green smoothie with avocado and without fruit (partially to compensate for alkalinity, partially because I like it) at seven and that made me feel a bit strange, as if someone plugged my intestines (duh(!), of course I did). After about half an hour I started to feel really tired, REALLY tired. And nausea. I was so close to throwing up. I didn't. I read my son a bedtime story and fell asleep beside him. At midnight I woke up, went into the kitchen and had a litre of water (as I usally do by bedtime) and went to bed. I had to get up immideately. It felt like the water was running up my throat. As if nothing was changed since the smoothie, I still felt plugged. After a while things setteled and I want back to bed. I managed to fall asleep with some pain in my stomach and a very unpleasant feeling of nausea.
During the night I woke up several times as water rose from my stomach, thru my throat and into my mouth. It was not a good feeling for sure. I always put sodium bicarbonate in my water to alkalise it so the water wasn't sour, thou it had that yucky taste from hydrocloric acid. Once I got up and had hlaf a teaspoon of sodium bicarbonate. I rinced my mouth thoroughly and swallowed. That seemed to help. After a 11 hours (from falling asleep the first time) I woke up and felt as any other day, thou I felt a bit stiff at my morning yoga.
What did I learn from this experience then?
First and foremost, keep you mind closed from outer influences. Don't loose focus of your objective. By doing so you open your mind for outer influence which might intrefere with your plan.
Second, 40 days on +95% raw and high alkaline is enough to make the body vunerable for acidic processed foods.
Third, I'm so not ready to sit down at breakfast yet with my colleagues. And honestly I don't know if I really want to. Thou I really have to work on my psycological "need" for bread. Lucky me a have a few good technichs in my back pocket, like the scrambleing pattern technich (NLP) or the switch pattern technich (NLP as well). Fast and simple. Just make sure you are present, have a quiet calm place and some time.
The scramleing technich is really simple. Do you remember any situation you don't feel so great about. Perhaps even very unconfortable with. Get a clear picture of it in your mind Like a movie. Feel it, smell it and hear it as well. Get as associated with it as possible (even thou it's a bit painful - yet not pain not gain as they say). Now play that movie backwards, and forward, and backwards again, make funny sounds/noises appear, funny colours, fun music (perhaps some cartoon music). Keep playing the movie backwards and forwars, faster and faster and faster. Speed up the sounds as well. Hear those words with comming out with a Micke Mouse voice. Laugh! Repeat this for a few minutes. Now think of the situation. How does it make you feel? Better? Repeat again for a few minutes. Now you have scratched your memory like a scratching a record. It just doesn't play the same tune any longer. If not pleased with your outcome, repeat until you are.
The switch pattern is also a simple task. Picture and get really associated with something you'd like to change your image about. If it's a food (as in my case) picture yourself eating it, the texture, taste and smell. How does it feel? What feelings do you feel? Now picture something that makes you feel really disgusted. Get REALLY associated with it. Feel it. How does it make you feel? Really bad? Low? Humiliated? Any feeling of fear is good. Focus on that feeling really hard. Now picture the thing you'd like to change your feeling about and associate with it once again. Then bring in those bad feelings. Make them flood you. Now back to your food/thing. And back to those negative feelings again. Back to the food/thing. And negative feelings. Repeat this for ta couple of minutes. Be very present. Now check you success. Picture the food/thing. What do you feel? Negative feelings? Repeat again if your not pleased with your outcome. It may take a few times.
Today I'm very grateful for this lesson I've learned. I'm thankful for getting myself to take action in doing the switch pattern on my bread addiction. I love myself for taking care of me. I love my family and I love you my friend. I feel Gods love circulating in my life. I feel blessed.
Live long and live strong!
In divine love and sound health